Written by my wife, the guest blogger.
My father is a traditional Chinese-educated man, so his parenting style is, likewise, old-fashioned. My father is not the kind who will hug, kiss or tell us that we made him proud. Similarly, we are also not so expressive with our feelings. We do kiss and hug our parents on occasions like birthdays and weddings, but that’s about it. Well, at least it was, until my youngest sister’s wedding last year.
She had an idea to make a video clip of comments for our parents to play during the ‘gratitude to parents’ session of her holy matrimony. (By the way, never told you that I thought it was a great idea, sis!) Her mission is accomplished, our parents were really touched. And it confirmed another thing. All of us do have the same image of our parents.
People often think that my father is strict and firm but he shows us that he is a loving and caring father in his own ways. He used to drive us everywhere, to school, to job interviews, and for some of us, even to work. He worried about us a lot. We were really pampered.
And he did this not only for his kids but also for our friends. I have some friends who were impressed when my father insisted on driving them to their job interviews in Jakarta. I supposed he just considered what he would feel if it was his daughter who was going to a strange city all alone.
He loves pets. I think we have had all kind of animals that are typical pets at one time or another. He likes good food. He is fond of little children. Both my kids enjoy playing with him. He loves to travel. He used to drive around everywhere, sometimes just to find out where a new road will lead to.
When I just learned to drive, I always consulted him if I have to go some place new. He could give you insights that you could not get from any maps. Just last week, he asked me how to go to Margonda. I remember thinking this is a first, him asking me for direction. I never thought that would be our last conversation.
Last Tuesday, I was told that my father had a heart attack the night before and he did not make it. As much as I know that this day will come sooner or later, it was still a shock when I heard the news.
His health has deteriorated the last 5 years due to heart problem and diabetic complications. He was hospitalized for almost 6 months in 2006 and at one point we thought that we were going to lose him. But he has a fighting spirit and he made it.
The months after, his condition still fluctuated and my mom at times worried that my father would not make it for my brother’s wedding. Her worry was unfounded. He made it to 2 further weddings. Actually his heart failed him right after my sister’s wedding dinner in Hongkong.
He was so excited about going. I took him to his cardiologist twice last month in preparation and he agreed to do his check-up without a word, which was a bit unusual, he usually only went to his doctor after my mom prodded him a lot. His cardiologist told us that his condition is very good, there should be no problem. My father was very happy to go.
So the news is a surprise to us all.
When we broke the news to our relatives, there are lots of questions. What happened? Was he too tired? Was he supposed to travel? Did he eat something????
Well, we’ll never know. As for me, I suppose this is his way, going while he is happy and relatively healthy. My sister thinks that he chose to go in style, while travelling.
My only regret is that he did not know God personally yet. Once when he was not feeling well and had difficulty sleeping, he asked me to pray for him. I was surprised, for him, this is already a leap of faith.
Looking back, we have been blessed. In a way, our time with him the last couple of years is like an ‘injury time’. I am glad that we are given the opportunity to show him that we care about him, that we want to make him happy. And that is how I will remember him: a happy, loving father.
So, goodbye Papa. I love you and I miss you already.
Anyway, welcome…
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